Die Heuschrecke Liegt Schwer
by DoctorRvnclaw
Summary: Obergruppenführer Smith just prevented World War III, and as a reward, he is allowed access to Hitler's vault of films. What does he see in these films? Or more specifically, who does he see in these films? Starts off at the very end of Season 2 Episode 10 (Fallout). This will eventually be Juliana Crain/John Smith. The title means 'The Grasshopper Lies Heavy' in German.
1. Chapter 1

This will eventually be Juliana Crain/John Smith. I also like the ship name Obergruppana. :)

I don't own anything.

Chapter 1

The double-doors open to a large vault. Obergruppenführer John Smith stood in the doorway, staring ahead at the rows of films. He took a deep breath, allowing the situation to fully sink in. Within an hour, he went from being Obergruppenführer Smith to being one of the most respected Nazis in the Reich. The guards closed the doors behind him, giving him privacy. He surveyed the room, looking at all the films Hitler hid from the public. John slowly made his way down the corridor, shoes clicking on the concrete floor. He took his time, wanting to savor the moment. The Reich entrusted him to solve the mystery behind these films, and he was determined to succeed.

John skimmed the labels, trying to pick up a pattern. They were separated by the letters of the German alphabet. Each section had films ranging from the early 1930s to the late 1960s. He stopped to read one of them carefully, curious as to how there could possibly be a film from the future. Deciding not to make it complicated, he chose a film from the current year, 1962. After checking all the sections, he realized that each section had films from each year. John was confused, but didn't let it show on his face. He didn't know if he was being watched or not, so he kept his expression neutral.

He tentatively opened the double doors that lead to the Hitler's private cinema room. He set up the film labeled 'E–September 1962' into the projector. Before playing it, he glanced over at the seat that used to be the Führer's. He considered sitting in Hitler's seat, but decided to stand, just in case he was being watched. _They could be testing me right now,_ John thought. _I could be in the running for Oberstgruppenführer or possibly Reichsführer. I will not allow a stupid mistake to ruin my chances._

He turned on the projector in the dark room. The bright light from the screen reflected onto his face. This is the first time he's seen one of these films. He remembers the scenes described to him by Miss Crain, but he never thought he would have the opportunity to watch one in person. It started off like a normal film. The first few clips showed celebrations of Victory in America Day in central park. People were picnicking and joining in on all the normal VA Day activities. The Nazi flag was on every street corner and hung on every lamp post. The next few clips showed top ranking Nazi's in Berlin giving speeches in honor of Victory in America Day. The scene changed to his own back yard. _I never remember allowing anyone to record anything at my home,_ he thought _._ He recognized himself on the screen, but a few of the people in the background didn't seem familiar. _These men were not at my house. My VA Day party was only a few months ago…I would have remembered._

The clip showed Joe, Helen, Thomas and his girls, but there were some people he has never seen in his life. One man in the back looked familiar, but he couldn't remember where he knew him from. The next clip showed that man talking to Miss Crain. _I know for a fact that Miss Crain was not there,_ he thought. _She joined the Reich a little over a month ago. And that older man, I recognize him from her files. That is her step-father from the Pacific States. There is no way he could have been at my party._ The next clip showed Miss Crain turning around, surprised to see she was being recorded. John noted that she still had her short hair and had a swastika pinned on her blouse. She smiled shyly and looked away from the camera. The screen went black, and John stood in silence in the dark room as the film continued turning. He disassembled the film and put it back in its case.

After putting the film back, he eyed the film right next to it, debating if he should watch the next one or not. He had to admit, he was curious to know why Miss Crain and her step-father were at his VA Day party, but he was also curious what the other sections of films would show. He continued farther down the corridor, stopping to pick out a 1962 film from the 'W' section. He made his way back to the cinema room, film in hand. He placed it in the projector and stood back to watch it.

It showed clips of a man giving a speech with American flags flying behind him. The man appeared to be the president of the United States, but John did not recognize the man. Then the clip showed a strange capsule with the name 'NASA Friendship 7' written on the side. The next clip showed a rocket launching, and the capsule landing in the ocean with parachutes. Then the clip of a parade came next, but it was not a United States parade, it was a Soviet Union parade. There were missiles and weapons being transported as soldiers walked down the street. Then the clip went back to the US president giving a speech and protestors crowded in the streets. John stepped closer to the screen, unable to believe his eyes when he spotted Miss Crain again. This time she was in the crowd of protestors, holding a sign that said 'No War'. She was standing with a young Japanese man, trying to talk to people walking by on the streets. She looked slightly different with long hair and pants on, but he was sure it was her.

John didn't know if he should believe the film or not. From what Miss Crain and Joe have told him, he knows that they show alternate realities and possibly the future. _Is this what the United States would have looked like if the Nazi's lost the war?_ he thought. _And why has Miss Crain been in all of these films?_ He quickly put the film back into its case, walking back into corridor to find a different section of films. He decided to try out one of the first sections. He picked out a film labeled 'B – 1962', and he placed it into the projector, anxious to watch another one. He made sure to keep his face as neutral as possible, hoping no one was spying on him as he watched these eye-opening films.

From watching the beginning, John could tell this film was going to have a darker tone to it. It showed clips of warzones, and people lying dead in the streets. New York City looked like a military base. Half of the buildings were crumbling to the ground and planes were flying overhead. The next string of clips showed that Berlin, London, Tokyo, and Moscow also looked like warzones. Then a group of people could be seen living in an abandoned building. They looked like homeless people living off scraps from the trash. The next clip showed a struggling American government meeting in a bunker with thick concrete walls. Stacks of papers were everywhere, people in military uniforms rushed back and forth. That is when John noticed himself walk through the busy room. He was in an American military uniform, the US flag sewn onto his jacket. He also recognized Erich, who is one of the most loyal men he currently has working for him. The last clip showed a group of military leaders sitting around a table. Erich was sitting on John's right side with Miss Crain sitting on his left. She was handing him papers and they were whispering during the meeting. The screen went black. _Why does that woman keep showing up?_ he asked himself.

He quickly put the film away, craving to watch another one. As he browsed the corridor of films, the double doors to the outside world opened. An SS Officer stepped in.

"I hate to disturb you, Obergruppenführer Smith, but you wife has called. She said it is an emergency," the officer said. John tried to keep his emotions in check.

"Where is the phone?" he asked with a calm façade.

"I will show you the way, sir," the man said, stepping back to allow the Obergruppenführer through. John followed the officer down a corridor, then they turned a corner and a phone was on the wall, waiting for him to call his wife back. The officer saluted him and walked away to give him privacy.

John stared at the phone, apprehensive to call Helen back. _It must be Thomas…_ he thought. He hesitated, but slowly put the phone up to his ear. He dialed his home number, hearing only two rings before his wife picked up. She was sobbing and breathing heavy into the phone. She was hysterical, and he couldn't make out any of her words.

"Helen, slow down. Tell me what has happened," he said, hoping it was all just a big misunderstanding.

"I–I didn't know" she started, trying to control her sobbing. "He–he was acting strange. I should have known," she said, sobbing harder into the phone.

"Helen, just tell me what happened," John said, trying not to lose his temper.

"Thomas…He–he turned himself in….they already came to get him. We didn't get to say goodbye…." She held in her sobs, waiting for his response, but it did not come. He hung up the phone and stared at the wall. He was expecting that Thomas had another seizure or something. He would have never thought that his son to turn himself in. The SS Officer came back into view.

"Obergruppenführer Smith, is everything all right, sir?" the man asked. John nodded, neutral expression on his face. "We have a car waiting outside for you. Reichsführer Himmler has ordered that you stay in the best of our hotels tonight. He said he will discuss the films with you tomorrow over breakfast." John nodded and followed the man out the building. As he said, there was a car waiting for him.

After entering the hotel room, he checked it from top to bottom. He spotted cameras and recording devices in the living room area, but none in the bathroom or bedroom. He kept up his façade until he was sure he wasn't being watched. John closed the bedroom door, wishing that it had a lock. He slid down the wall until he hit the floor, trying to hold in his emotions. He wanted to break things, and tear stuff apart, but instead, he let tears fall. He knew this was all his fault. He should have never went about the situation the way that he did. He didn't want to admit it, but he is mad at himself for raising his son as a Nazi. _He was perfect…my perfect boy…he should have never thought that he was anything less than perfect._

Once John calmed down enough, he searched the room for complimentary alcohol. There was a bottle of whiskey sitting on the nightstand, and he opened it, taking a few gulps before closing the top. He kicked his shoes off, took off his jacket, and fell onto the bed. He opened the bottle again, and took another swig. _I should have been open to Thomas about the whole situation…he went to Miss Crain before going to his own parents. Did he trust her more than he trusted me or Helen? I don't understand…_

A/N

Let me know what you guys think! This will probably be a slow burn/multichapter thing, and I'll try to update every week or every two weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. My spring semester just ended, so I'll have more time to update now. Thank you all for such the wonderful comments/reviews! I love reading them and they are really motivating :)

For this chapter and all future chapters it is implied that in Germany they are speaking German. When in America it's implied they are speaking English.

I don't own anything.

Chapter 2

Juliana Crain sat with her sister, Trudy, in a run-down diner in the Neutral Zone. The Man in the High Castle left the sisters alone for them to catch up with each other. There were only a few people scattered throughout the diner, but Juliana could not help but check over her shoulder every few minutes. She was expecting someone from the Resistance to appear out of nowhere and try to kill her and her sister. She also half expected the Nazis to track her down to kill her.

"For the tenth-time Jules, I told you they won't be able to find us," Trudy said, taking a sip of her dark roast coffee.

"There is no way you can be sure of that," Juliana said, taking one last glance around the diner before relaxing and putting some sugar in her cup. After a few seconds of silence, Juliana looked up at her sister and addressed the elephant in the room. "How did you do it?"

"Do what?" her sister said with a smirk.

"You know what I mean." Juliana leaned closer to whisper so others couldn't hear. "I was so sure that you were gone. I seen your…your…" she trailed off, remembering how she seen Trudy's dead body in the pit Tagomi sent her to.

"Jules," her sister started. "There is so much more going on here than just life and death. The films show more than you can imagine about other universes. I may have died in this universe, but I am alive in many others." Juliana didn't know how to respond at first. She looked down into her coffee, trying to think through what Trudy just told her.

"So, you're saying the films are real? They show real places?" Juliana asked, and her sister nodded. "Is that how you got here? Did you come from one of the worlds showed in the films?"

"Yes…I did…But the Man in the High Castle doesn't want me to say anything more just yet."

"What? Why not?" Juliana asked with confusion. _Does he not trust me?_ she thought to herself.

"He told me it can change the future of this universe if I tell you what's really going on," Trudy explained.

"Then when can I learn more about the films?" Juliana asked.

"I guess when the Man in the High Castle wants you to know more about the films," her sister said, shrugging. Juliana nodded, but was secretly wondering if she can truly trust the Man in the High Castle.

* * *

The morning after receiving news of his son's death, Obergruppenführer John Smith was still required to go to his meeting the next morning. Nazi's do not take days off to grieve for the loss of an _undesirable_. The highest-ranking officials in Berlin knew about Thomas Smith's death, but kept it on the down-low, not wanting to bring negative attention to one of their most respected Obergruppenführer's. John was grateful that no one bothered him about the subject. He was still broken by the news, but the full implications of the event did not sink in until he was having breakfast with to Reichsführer Himmler. Himmler heard the news earlier that morning, and brought it up John while they were eating breakfast.

"I heard about your son," the older man said in German. John nodded, his jaw tense. "It needed to happen," Himmler continued. "I just wish someone would have caught it earlier. It is not right for someone like that to be given false hope of a living a normal life." John's body tensed, and he stared down at his barely touched food. He didn't know if he should be disturbed by Himmler's view of _undesirables_ like his son, or if he should be worried that Himmler is interested in why the doctor didn't catch it sooner. It took John a few seconds to think of a suitable response.

"Yes…I know," John answered simply, not knowing what else to say. Himmler didn't seem suspicious, and he didn't push the subject any further. _He doesn't seem to know anything,_ John thought. _There is a very good chance they will eventually look into Thomas's doctor. It won't take them long to make the connection…A doctor dies mysteriously, and less than a month later, they find out my son had a serious physical disorder…_ John took another bite of breakfast to try to release the tension in his body.

"I did not invite you here to talk about your son," Himmler said, realizing it is still a sore subject for John. "I brought you here to talk about your new role in the Reich."

"Does this have to do with the films?" John asked, finally relaxing a little.

"Yes…they were very important to the Führer. He only wants the films in the hands of someone the Reich can trust. After what Heusmann did, I don't know who to trust anymore…All I know is that I can trust you, which is why I'm asking you to do this."

"I would be honored," John said, "But what about my current situation? Will I move here, to Berlin, to work with these films full time? Or will I remain Obergruppenführer of the Great American Reich?"

"We would like you to remain in New York, which I will explain why in a second," Himmler said, pulling out a folder from his bag. He opened the folder and sat it on the table in front of John. "Do you recognize her?" he asked. John looked down at the photo of Juliana Crain. He noticed that her hair was longer in this photo. _What could this situation possibly have to do with Miss Crain?_ he thought.

"Yes, I know her," John answered truthfully, keeping a neutral face. "She had information pertaining to the films, so I granted her asylum in the Reich from the Pacific States."

"And have you learned anything valuable?" Himmler asked.

"I am currently working on that. As you know, I was a little distracted recently," John said with a small smirk. Himmler chuckled, before responding.

"Do you know if she trusts you?"

"I am also currently working on that…" John said, looking down at her photo and zoning out a few seconds. He brought his attention back up to his superior, "Why do you ask? Does she have something to do with the films?"

"From what we know so far, these films show that she leads to the downfall of the Reich," Himmler said.

"Should we have her assassinated?" John asked, truly hoping it wouldn't lead to that.

"We must not kill her. She is too valuable," Himmler said, and John felt his muscles relax.

"Why is she so valuable?"

"From what you have probably seen, Juliana Crain is in many of the films, and from our intelligence briefings, we know that the Man in the High Castle is looking for her…We believe she is the key that unlocks this whole mystery. And the Man in the High Castle knows that. He knows much more than we do, which is why we must keep Juliana Crain on our side. If she joins him, they could do extensive damage to the Reich," Himmler explained.

"So what exactly is my role in all of this?" John asked, leaning back in his seat, perplexed by the situation.

"We need you to gain the girl's trust and learn what you can from the films. If we can figure out these films, we would be able to predict the future."

"But why me?" John asked, bewildered.

"We were planning on using Joe Blake, but after the recent events with his father, we decided you would be the next best candidate…You granted her asylum, she must have at least some trust in you."

John agreed to his new job and tried his best to listen as Himmler explained the details, but all he could think about was how chaotic his current situation is. _It will not take long for them to piece together what happened with Thomas…I must get Helen and the girls out of the Reich before it's too late. We'll either be executed or incarcerated for what we did, there is no way I can put my family through that…_

After his meeting with Himmler, John spent the rest of the day in his hotel room, figuring out his master plan.

* * *

The next day, John walked off the tarmac at the airport in New York City. The drive home was dreadful. All he could think about was Thomas, and how he could have lived a normal life in South America. When the driver stopped in front of his house, John stared out the car window, not wanting to get out and accept reality. It wasn't until the driver turned and gave John a strange look that he opened the car door to climb out. He slowly approached his house, not wanting to face the reality of what happened here two days earlier. The house was silent when he walked through the front door. He made his way to the living room and found Helen sitting on the couch, blankly staring at the wall. John had no idea what to say.

"Where are the girls?" he asked. Helen kept her eyes trained on the wall across from her.

"They are upstairs in their rooms."

"Do you want to talk?" he asked, taking a few steps toward the couch.

"This is all your fault," she said, still not looking at him. John felt a stab of pain in his chest when she said that.

"My fault?"

"Yes, your fault!" she yelled, finally looking over at him. "He got that _disease_ from _your_ family! Not mine! And you're the one that tried to suppress it, and pretend like he didn't have it! Now you have a dead doctor and dead son on your hands!"

"I will take care of that!" John said, raising his voice. "That is why you must listen to me. _They_ will find out what really happened," he said, still tense. "You and the girls need to escape to the Neutral Zone within the next month or so. I have a story planned out about how will be attacked and killed by the Resistance while taking a family camping trip."

"No," Helen said, turning to stare at the wall again.

"Excuse me?"

"I said NO!" she yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. "This is all on _you_ , not us. For all they know, I had absolutely nothing to do with it. If anyone will be executed, it will be you, so don't you _dare_ drag our whole family into this." John still could not believe what he was hearing.

"Helen, they are not that forgiving. You have to let me protect you and the girls."

"No! We are able to protect ourselves. Just leave us alone." She said, quickly standing up and making her way up the stairs. John slammed his fist against the coffee table once his wife left the room, _why won't she listen to me! She is going to get our daughters killed!_ He couldn't stay in the house any longer. Knowing that Thomas's room is upstairs, still untouched. John didn't know where else to go, so he grabbed his coat, got into his car, and drove. He didn't know where he was going, he just needed to think in peace.

John didn't want to admit it, but Helen was right, it is his fault. But that doesn't change the fact that they would try to use his family against him as blackmail _._ John turned a few corners, still having no idea where he's headed. He began formulating a new plan in his head as he drove around the block. _I should go back to work and pretend nothing has happened. I will follow Himmler's instructions, watch the films, and gain Miss Crain's trust. I just need to buy myself some time to convince Helen to escape. I probably have a month at least, and maybe a couple months at most,_ he thought.

John was still thinking of a plan when he suddenly remembered something about Miss Crain. She is the only living person that knew of Thomas's illness. _She knew that both Helen and I knew about Thomas's condition, but didn't turn him in. She was also at Doctor Adler's funeral…_ The gears started turning in John's head. He knows she is a smart girl and can probably fill in the blanks. He just hopes she won't turn in his family before he can finalize a plan. _I need to find her. Now._

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope to have a new chapter up within the next week or so.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hope you guys like this one!

I don't own anything.

 **Chapter 3**

A day after returning from Berlin, Obergruppenführer Smith sat at his desk patiently waiting for one of his men to get back with him about Miss Crain. The others that worked with the Obergruppenführer noticed that he was more irritated than usual, but they assumed it was due to the recent bombshell about his son. What they did not know, was that John's anger was fueled by the fact that Miss Crain was not at her apartment last night or this morning. John thinks that the only plausible reason why she's missing is that she decided to turn him in to the Reich. She could be confessing right now, and he would never know. To get his mind off the stressful thoughts of his son and Miss Crain, he busied himself with reading through a transcript from one of the films. That is when one of his men approached his desk and saluted him.

"Tell me what you know," John said calmly, not bothering to look up at him. The younger man swallowed hard before answering.

"She is no longer in the Reich, sir. We believe she is now in the Neutral Zone," he said. John sat the transcript on his desk and skeptically eyed the man in front of him

"I see…" he answered. "Where in the Neutral Zone did she go?"

"We-uh, we didn't really have time to look into that, sir," the man answered quietly, worried that his superior would overreact. "But we can start working on her specific location, sir," he added.

"Yes Bradley, you will begin searching for her immediately. And I want all your best men on this. Is that clear?" The younger man nodded in affirmation.

"Yes, of course, sir." He hesitated before continuing, "…But, why is she so important? We have more refugees from the Pacific States on the loose than just her." John slammed his fist on the desk and Bradley took a step back, regretting his previous statement.

"It does it matter _why_ she is important! I gave you an order, Gruppenfürer Bradley, and you will obey it!" John demanded, standing up from his chair. "Both Reichsfürer Himmler and myself consider Miss Crain a highly valuable asset to the Reich, and she is now lost in the Neutral Zone. Your job is to find her. Now go, and stop wasting time."

"We will get on it immediately, sir," he said. "I will give you an update by the end of the day."

"Yes, you will. I expect regular updates about this…sensitive situation." Gruppenfürer Bradley saluted John and left his office, determined to find Juliana Crain.

John sat back into his chair and considered his conversation with Bradley. If Miss Crain really did turn herself in to confess, Bradley would be one of the first to know. He leads the immigration department, and they monitor all the activities of immigrants for their first year here in the Reich. _His body language did not seem any different than usual during our conversation,_ John thought. _He seemed slightly more nervous than usual, but that was most likely because he was delivering bad news to me._ As John thought about it, Bradley was probably telling the truth. _Perhaps Miss Crain did escape to the Neutral Zone._ Even though he's already read through Miss Crain's file more than a hundred times, John decided to look through it again. He has all the information about her memorized and the photos of her are burned into his brain, but John feels like he is missing something. _Why would a shy and quiet girl like Juliana Crain be so important to the Reich? And how she, an average girl, linked to the films?_

When the sun began to set, John looked over at his clock. It was almost eight and Bradley hasn't given his update about Miss Crain yet. He also didn't receive his usual call from Helen to tell him when dinner would be ready. Helen and he hadn't talked since their fight last night about Thomas, so he didn't want to push it too far with her. John slowly packed up some files to head home, and to his relief Bradley came in with information about Miss Crain's whereabouts. John sat back down at his desk and listened intently as the younger man explained what they found.

"We believe she met with a man in Pennsylvania three days ago, and left from that location with a woman. The man she met must have left in a separate car. Two days ago, people spotted them in Missouri. Yesterday they were possibly spotted in Cheyenne Wells, Colorado, which is on a road that leads directly to Colorado Springs and eventually leads to Denver. That was the last sighting in the Reich, sir. They are surely in the Neutral Zone by now. They could either be in Denver, Colorado Springs, or possibly even Canon City." Bradley said with confidence.

"Do we have anyone that could get us information from the Neutral Zone?" John asked.

"No, sir. Tomorrow we will find a bounty that will track her down," he responded. John took a minute to think before responding. He has a perfect opportunity right now, and he didn't want to pass it up.

"No. You will not get a bounty."

"Sir?" Bradley asked with confusion.

"I will take care of everything else," he answered, slipping Miss Crain's file into his bag. "I will find her myself. She is a valuable asset to the Reich, and we must gain her trust back. I don't think she would be very trusting if a bounty drags her back."

"Y–yes, sir. Of course. I didn't think of it that way," he answered, feeling somewhat like an idiot.

"You are dismissed," John said.

* * *

On his way home from work, John picked up some flowers, hoping it would cheer up Helen a little bit. He wanted to have a serious, and calm, conversation with her tonight. If anyone figures out what really happened with Thomas and his Doctor, they will all be killed without second thought. Helen is hoping that the Reich will give her and the girls immunity, but John knows that the Reich is not that forgiving. He was going to try a different approach tonight, and hopefully, she will understand that all of their lives are at stake.

As John walked through his front door, the first thing that caught his eye was his suit cases stacked by the stairs. He tried to push that to the back of his mind as he entered the kitchen. Helen was busy cleaning the dishes from dinner. John held the flowers behind his back and cleared his throat. He ignored the fact that they ate dinner without him. He was determined to have a civilized conversation tonight.

"How was your day?" he asked, trying to start the conversation on a positive note. Helen pretended like she didn't hear him, so John approached her with an outstretched hand full of flowers. "I got you a gift." She turned off the water and looked over at the flowers in his hands. John noticed that her eyes were swollen from crying.

"Get out," she said quietly.

"Excuse me?" John asked. He is trying to be nice and she is not even giving him a chance.

"I said get out." Tears began to run down Helen's face. "I already packed your stuff. Just go."

"We need to talk, Helen. This is my house, you can't just kick me out. What will the neighbors think if their Obergruppenführer was kicked out of his own house?" John said, keeping his anger at bay. He was not going to give up on her, or his family. Helen started sobbing uncontrollably and held onto the cabinet to keep herself from falling.

"I…I…" she said in between sobs. "I decided that I'm turning you in tomorrow!" she cried out. John dropped the flowers to the floor in shock. "I-It's all because of you John. If they have you, they won't come after us. It's our only option!"

"No, Helen. We have other options," he answered, calmer than she expected. He approached her slowly and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. "Please, just hear me out. We can all escape together. We can be a happy family again –" Helen smacked his hands from her face.

"You're a selfish bastard, John!" she yelled, tears still spilling from her eyes. "You would rather save your own neck than save the rest of your family! Get out! Get out now!" She snapped. John didn't move. He was still in shock that his wife would do this to him. Does she not realize that he did all of this to try to save their son's life? All day he was thinking that Miss Crain was going to turn him in, but it is actually his own wife that is going to turn him in. "You get the hell out, right now!" She yelled again. John was about to explode from the intense emotions he has bottled up. His son chose the Reich over his own life, and now his wife is choosing the Reich over her own husband. He considered locking up Helen and kidnapping his daughters, but he didn't want to put his girls' lives in danger like that.

John left the kitchen without another word. He was scared that if he stayed in there any longer, he wouldn't be able to control his rage. As John approached the stairs Helen ran to stand in front of him.

"You stay away from them! You don't deserve to talk to them!" Helen yelled, stopping him from going upstairs to say goodbye to Amy and Jessica. John clenched his fists, trying to control himself.

"You are going to deny a father his right to say goodbye to his own daughters?"

"You've already done enough!" Helen cried, "Just leave!" But John didn't move from his spot at the bottom of the stairs. "I swear, John. I will call Berlin tonight if you don't go now." Tears fell from her face as she threatened her husband. John knew that she was only trying to protect her family. That is why he married her. She was protective, devoted, motherly, and a hard worker. But she would rather blame her own husband for their son's death than blame their government. John decided to listen to Helen and took a step back. One day he would come back, and maybe then, Helen will realize it is the Reich that is at fault, not him.

"Do me a favor, Helen. Instead of turning me in tomorrow, can you turn me in two days from now?" he asked. "I am going to the Neutral Zone."

"If you really want to go like a coward, then yes, I can do that for you," she answered boldly. John's nostrils flared, _she thinks_ I'm _the coward._

John grabbed his luggage and left without another word. They could have escaped. All of them. But she is the one who refused. She is the one who broke this family up.

* * *

It was almost midnight when John pulled into the parking garage at work. No one was in the garage or in the building. Only the security cameras were watching him. He made his way up to his office and grabbed the most important documents he could find. Transcripts of films, files on important people in the Reich, Pacific States, and the Resistance. He grabbed everything that he could fit in his brief case. Before leaving his office, John sat in his desk chair one last time, thinking about how all of the power and respect he earned will be gone in a couple days. He will be thought of as a traitor. A traitor that tried to save an 'undesirable'. Until then, he needed a cover story so no one gets suspicious. John wrote a letter explaining that he will be leaving very early in the morning to find Miss Crain in the Neutral Zone. He wasn't exactly lying though, because he will find Miss Crain, he is just escaping from the Reich along the way.

After finishing up in his office, John drove to the outskirts of the city, where there is a warehouse only for top Nazi officials. It is where the Reich stores their most expensive equipment, so naturally, he was one of the only men who had a ring of keys to the facility and equipment. Bombs and tanks were lined up, but John was more interested in the semi-truck off to the side. He opened the trailer on the back and it was filled with wooden crates that say 'Frische Äpfel' (Fresh Apples). He grabbed a crowbar and opened one to make sure the films were there. Since he knows he has no future with the Reich, he might as well steal what he can. John transferred over his luggage to the back of the truck and prepared to leave with all the films. Before closing the facility, he left a note explaining that he is going on an important business trip and will soon be back with the films. He wanted to keep them off his tail for as long as possible.

By two in the morning, John was driving west on a major highway. He only had one thing on his mind. _Find Juliana Crain._

* * *

A/N: Juliana will be in the next chapter, I promise! And let me know what you guys think! I'm trying to keep them in character, but it's sometimes difficult. John doesn't seem like the type of man that all of a sudden falls in love with a younger woman. He is more of an old fashioned family man, so I'm trying to transition from that.


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